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Oh, my love.

We sat across from each other in that coffee shop.

After 2 months of trying to meet up, you simply telling me there was much to catch up on, we finally sat face to face.

You floundered for words. You didn’t know where to start.

Finally, reaching for your hand the tears came and you whispered the word, “Abuse.”

For five years, I’ve known you. Loved you.  Had conversations with you.  Been in your home.  You’ve sat at my table.

I’ve never known. Never even suspected what you were enduring.

I never knew in the four walls of your beautiful home, the walls of your heart were being torn down. I never thought beneath the smile that can light up a room there was a slow death creeping in. I never suspected that inside that beautiful with the always shining hair you were believing lies continuously thrown at you, shattering your sanity and well-being.

And I am sorry. Beyond anything I could ever offer.

My heart is broken for you: this brilliant, talented, ferocious woman. This created-in-God’s-image that has been fighting a silent battle and I had no idea.

For you, for her, for all those that have endured and are currently enduring, the destruction in what should be a place of honor… your marriage.

I understand now what R.D. Laing meant by this quote:

The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”

I have failed to notice what I have failed to notice and I have not been able to do anything to change.

No more.

I promise, I commit, to walk alongside you. More than that, I promise to educate myself so that I am no longer blind.

My aim is to become a fortress for the weak, a voice for the mute, a safe place for the oppressed. This is my heart for you and for the myriad of other women in your position.  I am gaining resources so that I can know and understand.

As I grow in knowledge of this situation, I want you to grow, too…

…Grow in Truth

That you are lovely, you are called his Beloved, you are a jewel in the crown of the King; all because of Jesus.

Would you fix your eyes on the cross, running with endurance the very difficult race placed in front of you?  Putting your focus on Jesus will allow you to see how he endured the cross, despising it’s shame, all for you to have freedom.

You are loved, more than you have ever felt or could imagine right now. A love that bears with you and endures this with you.  A love that never fails or gives up on you and a commitment that is not based on how you perform but rooted in the fact that Christ did all for you.

– Laurel Ewing, Women’s Ministry Director


**Abuse knows no bounds. It does not care a whit about your education, socioeconomic status, your title at the office, or your bank account. Abuse does not even care whether you go to church or not. If you have questions about what abuse looks like can I give you encouragement to reach out?  Don’t wait for a better time.  If you have concerns about your circumstance or someone you know, please contact me at ewingfamily6@ymail.com