Selah [sel-uh] – to stop, pause, lift up, rest, and meditate calmly.
If I look back on the last few years, they’ve been burdensome.
Marital strife, financial woes, learning new roles, job changes, separation, moving, losing and gaining.
In all of this, my little introverted heart has been screaming, “Enough!”
The to-do list and the calendar have been filled to the brim with emails to send, events to organize, appointments to make, interviews to conduct, phone calls to answer, trainings to attend, and contracts to be sent. These have been squeezed into the midst of what has been an overwhelming, exhausting, emotional season that seems to be unending.
Fifteen years ago, nine years ago, two years ago, there were things swirling that I couldn’t fathom or understand if I was even aware of them and most certainly too many things I simply did not know about.
Everything that has happened to anyone allows us to be in the place we are now.
I cling to Scripture that reminds me when things feel out of control, there is One is who is most certainly in control of all things at all times.
Rejoice… for this (right here, right now) is the will of God in Christ Jesus for me and he has plans for me, plans to give me peace and a future.
While they may not be my plans, I trust in his goodness and his ability to have the bigger picture in mind. In the midst of laying down my desires and ways, the Lord is calling me to stop, pause, rest, meditate.
Our culture of shunning anything that reeks of discomfort and encouraging us to follow our heart and do what makes us happy presses in all around me. It’s easy to pretend I’m fine because who wants to join hands and bear this burden with me? Or, the real question may be, do I want to be that vulnerable with someone?
More than anything, my wish is to arrive on the other side, older and hopefully wiser, dust my hands and say, “There, that wasn’t so bad now, was it?”
My bent is to keep marching, filling up my time so I don’t have to think or deal with hurts or regrets, the shame and “what-if’s”. Yet in the season of selah, He whispers to me, “Don’t miss what I’m doing.”
Rather, he presses on me to fully embrace, fully process, this season so that I may know him more fully as I am all ready fully known. I want my feet to be on a level path, even in the valley, understanding that these various trials are testing my faith which leads to steadfastness.
As my pastor says, “It’s not the first day I care about, but the last.”
Come, let us sink our roots deep so though trials will come and the winds buffet, our feet will be firmly set upon the rock of our salvation.
– Laurel Ewing, Women’s Ministry Director